Four years ago I was starting my journey into what I named my "C Saga". I had gone for my annual mammogram when the Doctor came in (always a bad sign) and said something was there that wasn't the year before. Immediately he followed up with an ultra sound and the rest is history.
I never asked "why me?" rather "why not me?" In my lifetime I have known over 20 women and 1 man who have had breast cancer. I learned from their bravery, treatments, and attitudes to deal with it aggressively and with a positive approach. And my friend God had promised that he would never give me more that I could handle.
As with most marriages of 35 years, my husband and I had been through many challenges but we knew that this was by far our biggest. I found out later that we did "things" differently than most breast cancer patients. One example was that we put together a team of friends and medical professionals. We actually interviewed our doctors and if they didn't fit our standards they were crossed off the list. When we interviewed our oncologist surgeon we went with 4 pages of questions. He said later he wished more people would prepare and investigate-it would help him and them as they worked through the process. We also took a third person with us to doctor appointments. A third person hears things and asks questions that those who are so personally involved will won't.
Our family and friends held us together through the journey. One of the things I learned was to accept their help-not an easy task for someone who use to present programs on being a Super Woman. Again, the Lord reminded me that I wasn't in charge.
Many times people wanted to help but didn't know what to do or say. We were very open about my surgery and treatments. I set up an e-mail group giving reports on my status as well as things I learned along the way. The network quickly grew as people asked to be included. The e-mail group became a journal of the process and gave people information straight from me.
Others things that people did to support our family included the always welcome cards, flowers, food, and visits. Other deeds of kindness included: A friend finished an inside painting job I had started; a nurse friend gave me shots during chemo; one breast cancer survivor whom I had never met sent me a small gift weekly; another breast cancer patient went with us on my first chemo visit to "show us the ropes." Two friends surprised me with a beautiful friendship quilt made up of messages from family and friends. It went with me to all chemo sessions and gave me strength and hope to deal with the many unknowns.
One thing that still surprises me was the many people praying. People from all over the country and world of all faiths prayed for me. Many of my e-mail buddies sent prayer requests out and even to this day I hear from people "checking-in" or requesting information for someone that has been diagnosed.
My advice to women is to get your annual mammogram-yes, it is uncomfortable but it can save your life as early detection is the best prevention. Secondly, if diagnosed, remember that YOUR cancer and you are unique. It is not like Aunt Betty's or your Mother's neighbor. As difficult as it may sound, try to keep your sense of humor. When my oncologist told me that I would definitely have a new "hair due", I responded that I was always ready for a new one! Lastly, and most importantly, accept help and ask for prayer.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Pam Baker Robbins grew up on Tater Road between Punkin Center and Leipsic. A Southern Indiana farm girl, she was raised on the values of a WW II B-17 pilot and a Texas transplant that you work and then play. A graduate of Oklahoma State University with both a Bachelor and Master of Science degree. She returned to Indiana to work 31 years for Purdue University Cooperative Extension Service. After retirement she and a colleague established PeopleWork Associates a company which focuses on education and training for organizations and companies.
She married Paul Robbins in 1968 and they are the parents of 2 daughters, Paige Robbins Elwafi, a music therapist living in Cincinnati, OH with husband Miloud Elwafi, and Piper, a photography student in San Francisco, California.
Pam was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2003 and continues to follow her parents philosophy of work and then play but adds ... to live each day at it's fullest. Pam can be reached at probbins@wcrtc.net
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