Church Bullentins

Thank God for the church ladies who type the church bullentins. These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins and were announced in church services.

• The Fasting & Prayer conference includes meals.

• The sermon this morning:"Jesus walks on the water."

• The sermon tonight."searching for Jesus.

• Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 pm in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King

• Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.

• The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.

• Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "Hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.

• Dont let worry kill you off-let the church help.

• Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

• For those of you who have children and don't know it,we have a nursery downstairs.

• Next  Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir.They need all the help they can get.

• The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing:" Break Forth Into Joy."

• Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

• A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.

• At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to the choir practice.

• Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

• Scouts are saving aluminum cans,bottles and other items to be cycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

• Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.

• The church will host an evening of fine dining,super entertainment and gracious hostility.

• Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM-prayer and medication to follow.

• The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

• This evening at 7PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

• Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.

• The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.

• Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7PM. Please use back door.

• The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

• Weight watchers will meet at 7PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double doors at the side entrance.

• The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours"