WHAT Did You Say?

(are you LISTENING to what you say to yourself?)

By Carrie Wilkerson

Usually, there is a fluffy, feel-good story here.WARNING - that is NOT THE CASE TODAY! I wanted to GET REAL with you today about the way you treat YOURSELF! Let me ask you some questions.you don't have to answer aloud (especially if you're at work, on the subway or in Starbucks.) but DO take the time to be honest. OKAY?

Here we go:

* You are on your way to an important appointment.no time to spare.and you make a wrong turn and get a little lost. What are you saying to yourself?

* You are dressing in the morning and you are frustrated with the way your clothes hang or that your jeans aren't buttoning right. What do you say?

* You burn your hand while you're cooking dinner.or worse - burn dinner! What are you saying? (no expletives, please!)

* You are doing your hair and you cannot get it to turn out quite right. What do you say to yourself in the mirror?

* Your children are a little WOUND up and you over-react a little in anger when you are correcting them. What do you say to yourself?

* You fail a test (school, driving, certification, pregnancy.you fill in the blank). What do you tell yourself?

* The house is a mess, your household schedule is CRAZY, you forgot a baby shower you were supposed to attend and hubby's birthday sneaked up on you..WHAT ARE YOU SAYING TO YOURSELF?

Let me tell you from my own circumstances.when I could not find my keys,my purse or the baby's favorite blankie - I was INSTANTLY saying "Carrie, you would lose your head if it wasn't attached. Why can't you be more organized?"

When I was driving and got lost (I am directionally challenged, at best).I IMMEDIATELY began telling myself "Carrie, you couldn't find your way out ofa paper bag! Why are you so worthless about directions?"

And clothes not fitting??? WELL - after dealing with 20+ years of being overweight.you can ONLY IMAGINE the way I talked to myself about mybody, my weight and my eating habits.

Now, consider this!! We would NEVER allow someone else (spouse, kids, parents or coworkers) to talk to us the way we talk to ourselves! Right? We are somewhat trained to berate ourselves.we seem to think that if we speak harshly to ourselves, it will affect change. I DISAGREE!

I think that the more you "hear" something (whether it is true or not and regardless of who says it) you begin to believe it!

I know beautiful women that started saying ickky things to themselves when they were awkward pre-teens and now.even though they are stylish and gorgeous, they have these BELIEFS that they are clumsy, awkward and unattractive because they've been telling themselves that since junior high school!

I know intelligent and capable men that berate themselves constantly even though they are successful and well-respected...perhaps they are replaying 'tapes' in their head of what a teacher, coach, peer or parent previously helped them believe about themself!

Why not CHANGE YOUR DIRECTION? (Warning, this will seemawkward at first)

For example. NOW that I am aware of how I tend to fuss at myself.I change the script! When I cannot find something easily because of the chaos myhouse is in.I say "Wow, we are so blessed with thesefour great kids and a busy house! If things were perfectly organized, how boring would that be?"

When I am lost or turned around, I say "I'm so glad I left a few minutes early so I could enjoy all the alternate routes!" --- OK, this may seem silly to you - but what do you think this has done for my attitude?

I have aclient that told me she was fussing about her "bad hair day" in the mirror and on the way to work realized she should be thankful for a head full of naturally curly hair instead of wasting energy being mad about it.

When we give ourselves permission to SPEAK KIND AND ENCOURAGING words to ourselves.that is bound to spill out of us into the lives of others. Don't you agree? TRY IT TODAY!! Pay attention to what you say to yourself and see if there aren't some more uplifting or positive words you can say instead!

ABOUT THE AUTHOR 
Carrie Wilkerson, wife, mom, author & speaker. As "The Barefoot Executive" Carrie educates, coaches and advises work-at-home women (and those who want to be) as they achieve their goals of personal & career fulfillment! Carrie and her husband, "Mr. Barefoot" - work together at home and share the joy of raising their 4 children (infant to 12 years) together.www.BarefootExecutive.ws