A mix collection of inspirational stories gathered from the internet and personal experiences.

Friday, October 11, 2013


By Tamara Phiri
I talked to a friend last night and shared on how there's something I've been trying really hard to master lately, a reasonably straightforward task.   No matter how hard I try I just don't seem to get it done as well as I want to. I've been baffled again and again. How can something so easy be so hard for me to get? I want it with everything in me, and they say if you want it bad enough, it will come to you and it's been months now. Why is it still so far when it's so near, when it's so within reach?
My friend told me something I found to be very revolutionary: I have been giving it too much attention, I have focused on it too hard and too long, I have fantasized and imagined of how hard it must be and I myself have blown it so out of proportion. I have given it a life of it's own and have pampered it and idolized it until it has overpowered me.
Somewhere deep down I have maintained a secret belief that it is too hard, too big to master and true to my own beliefs. It continues to elude me. Myfriend told me that going at the pace I am at the moment, putting in as much effort as I am right now, I probably can still attain in it in the end but I will get there having worn myself out completely.
How right that is, because even now weary does not begin to describe how I feel about this 'challenge' right now. I have never worked so hard on anything in my life as I have on this. Never disciplined and focused myself as much as I have on this. Never read as many motivational books as I have on this. Never quoted as much scripture and prayed as much as I have on this, have even kept myself reading the same bit of scripture over and over again telling myself to keep doing that and 'applying it to the situation' until when I get to the end of the challenge and master it.
It is so liberating to know I don't have to go that way anymore; it's not that I should stop having goals, but I should not allow it to stop the whole of my life, to rule me, to de fine me. I can think of many days when failing the challenge spoilt my entire days, days when a feeling of being inadequate and not being good enough lingered on no matter how good I was in the other areas of my life. For the first time, I have understood that what you focus on grows, literally. I'm glad to know I can now focus on other things and get on with the rest of my life not because this thing is now useless. I am a lot bigger than the challenge and I will not allow the challenge to overpower me anymore.
There are days it literally overtook me, days where I fumbled repeatedly on it for no apparent reason, always thought only the universe knew the reason because I just couldn't get it. I'm glad it frees me to be myself. I know myself better than anyone else. And in my whole life I have gotten over things but this is not the way I have done it.
It brought back memories of how good I was in primary school, back then I always knew I would always come out top of the class, always. There was no hassle about it. It was the only way I knew and it was the only way things went. It was always a relaxed process, I do not recall a single moment where I strained or panicked or caught myself weary of trying too hard. It was always there for me. It never controlled my life.
The rest of my happy life went on and this was just, well, a small part of ordinary life. I think that should be the keynote of everything in my life - relax, relax, relax, be yourself. You know who you are and you know how best you work and you know what's good for you. For me a 'panting feverishness' is not how I get things done. It just kills me and that's what I have been doing to myself for weeks now. I'm glad it brought me back to myself, to simplicity.
We all have our own definition of what simplicity is for us. For me, just being myself is the highest definition of simplicity. It's the point where I have surrendered the need to control and in doing that I liberate myself to be the person I truly am. It brings me back to the truth that simple truly is beautiful. Simple is not laziness or complacency or half-baked work. Simple is handling everything with grace, it's poise, and it’s class that no one can take from you. Simple oozes confidence all the time.
Tamara Phiri is a freelance writer and medical doctor. She lives with her family in the small and beautiful town of Zomba, Malawi. You can follow Tamara and read more of her articles on www.livingitlight.wordpress.com

No comments: