JOY JUICE

by Linda Davenport

Six Words That Changed a Life Six words - "Smile...it can't be that bad." - changed Judy's life. Judy is a young woman I worked with some years ago. She was in her late twenties, maybe early thirties, more than a little overweight, and not the most stylish dresser. What was most striking about her appearance was her smile; it was always there. Anyone passing Judy in the hallway was greeted with that smile and a soft, "Hello," or, "Good morning," in her gentle, Minnesota accent.

I happened to be with Judy one day when she had her driver's license out of her purse. The photograph on her license showed a face that looked like it had never smiled! The corners of her mouth were turned down, her face looked slack, and the eyes were dark and troubled. The overall impression was anger and deep grief. "Whoa! Judy...is that really you? What in the world was going on? You look like you're mad at the world!" Judy giggled. "Yes, it's me. I used to look like that all the time."

She then shared with me her story and the six words that changed her life. Judy had moved to Tennessee to care for an invalid uncle. Her life revolved around caring for this much older and very ill man who, though grateful, offered little in the way of good company for a shy young woman.

When he died, Judy realized for the first time that she had nothing - no job skills no education, no experience with which to support herself, and no friends. Lonely, grieving, and terrified, she took a big step and enrolled in a community college CAD/CAM program. The Judy that walked the halls between classes was the Judy captured in her driver's license photo. She didn't talk, didn't smile, didn't make eye contact.

One day, however, she met an instructor in the hallway who, in passing, said, "Smile...it can't be that bad." As Judy told me the story, she giggled again. "I was so embarrassed! And I didn't say anything at all. I couldn't. But I started thinking...maybe he was right." Nothing in Judy's life had changed, but she made a decision to smile anyway, to put a smile on her face without waiting for it to spontaneously show up. And so she did.

She would arrive at school and, very self-consciously at first, put a smile on her face as she walked across the parking lot. She forced herself to look up at the people she met, even if only for an instant. Over and over she repeated to herself the six words that started her down the path: "Smile...it can't be that bad." Without realizing it, she said, she had begun to practice "fake it 'till you make it," acting happy even when she wasn't. "And when I did," she said, "things changed.

People stopped avoiding me. Before, people sometimes crossed the halls to walk on the other side, and if they didn't, I did. When I started smiling, even though I didn't really feel it, people reacted differently. It took a little while, but one morning, someone actually said hello to me. And I smiled for real!"

Judy later went to the instructor who had made the comment and thanked him. As you might expect, he was surprised that his almost throwaway comment had that kind of impact. Judy met his family, visited his church, and slowly developed a social network. After living in Tennessee for more than ten years, she made her first friends.

When she told me the story, she finished with, "See? You never know how you might influence someone with what you say. Those six words changedmy life. When I started acting happy, I became happy. I didn't even know it was happening, but it was, and I'm so glad he told me to, 'Smile...it can't be that bad.' He was right...it wasn't that bad...and it won't ever be that bad again."

Today's Joy Juice by Judy - happiness is a choice; fake it 'till you make it if you have to; and pay attention to the words you say...you may change someone's life.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Linda Davenport is a freelance writer and full-time communications professional. She publishes "Joy Juice" every week on her website, Happy By Nature, and blogs her personal journey at http://heartsongshymnal.blogspot.com  If you'd like to contact Linda, join the conversation on either website or email her at mntngal@comcast.net

Thoughts to Ponder

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act, but a habit.

~Aristotle

Christmas Greetings

I wish you Christmas greetings, my friend,
abundant blessings without any end,
treasures more precious than silver or gold,
faith that is strong and strength to be bold;
love, laughter, a heart filled with cheer,
and a generous spirit to last you all year.

Health and happiness wishes I send,
for loving family, the kindest of friends.
May starlight guide you along on your way,
to the Babe, in your heart, asleep on the hay.
There hope will find you and worry will cease
as you open His gift, your soul will find peace.
Peace of Christ be with you,
~ Linda Gleason ~

Thoughts to Ponder

He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has.

~ Epictetus

Thoughts to ponder

‎"There are seven things that will destroy us: Wealth without work; Pleasure without conscience; Knowledge without character; Religion without sacrifice; Politics without principle; Science without humanity; Business without ethics."

~Mahatma Gandhi

FRIENDSHIP

by Cherri Walston

Friendship is one of the many blessings God has given each one of us. I am so grateful for the lasting friendships I have cultivated through the years. As women, we know that true friendship is a sacred commodity. This is a relationship that is to be cherished and revered for a lifetime. We've experienced friendships that have come and gone because of misunderstandings, differences in lifestyles, spiritual or personal growth. For whatever reasons, they have left a permanent mark on our hearts of what true friendship really is.

I am known to be a very outgoing person and can interact with people from various cultures and backgrounds. I believe this is one of the many gifts God has bestowed upon me. I say this with great humbleness: as a child I was very shy and reserved. During my early years, I longed for friends. I wanted people to accept and like me. Even in high school, I felt like an outcast because I wasn't chosen to be in what I thought was the "In" group.

Consequently, this had a negative affect on my self-esteem. I placed little value on myself. My self-worth was overshadowed by the quantity of relationships versus the quality of true friendships. As I matured, I learned to filter through those relationships that weren't holding me up in the best light. Sometimes that meant I had to light the path on my own.

Self Acceptance our elite, and not so elite, society would have you believe that it is about who you know or who you are connected to. There is nothing wrong with having well-known friends or being in the circle of connected people. However, it becomes a problem when your self-worth is based on whom you know.

Be you - love you! Wherever you think you aren't in life yet, should never be an indication of where you are headed. Accept your shortcomings, mistakes; accept that some people won't like you and some you don't need to be connected to anyway. You can receive all the accolades you can stand, but until you can accept and love yourself, they are only a clanging cymbal.

The Key is Quality Not Quantity Networking is one of the hottest concepts in building relationships in the professional and entrepreneurial world. We are taught to meet and connect with as many individuals as we can. Whether it is to find a new career/job, build your business or build future relationships down the road.

When I was starting my career in training and development and my business as a coach, I was meeting people and collecting a lot of business cards. I would have a handful of cards, but no connections that related to myspecific needs. I soon realized that the quantity of cards never measured up to the value of networking. I quickly learned that I needed to position myself where my target audience gathered; a place that supported myvision. Many times that meant a smaller and more intimate gathering.

Isn't it funny how sometimes we enter into relationships the same way? We get sucked into a lot of drama and no substance. Then we scratch our heads trying to figure out how we got ourselves into this situation. You will later realize that sometimes less is more. For me, a quality relationship whether it is personal/professional is one based on character, excellence, and standards I set for my own life. Not perfection, but one of value that adds to not distracts from.

There Is Joy In Being Your Own Best Friend. A true friend is someone who accepts you as you are, feels those fears and anxieties with you, and sees your limitations. A true friend will celebrate you, cry with you, and reason with you for your own good. I can truly say that I have a small, yet valuable set of sister friends who have helped me to be the best I can be. However, I am learning to be my own best friend too.

When I feel like I'm not where I need to be, I smile and remember where I came from. When I fear stepping out of my comfort zone, I feel the fear and say, "go for it girl". And when I am confronted with my limitations, I tell myself to do what I can. A way will be made because God never fails. I find pure joy in laughing at my quirkiness, the silly things I say and do. When you become comfortable with yourself, you'll realize you don't need a crowd to feel good.

Just be YOU!

You are your own best friend!

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Cherri Walston, M.S. is a certified Professional Coach, trainer and speaker. She is the president and CEO of The Coach Jazzy, LLC, a coaching practice for women going through some type of transition in their life: career, separation, divorce or a physical challenge, who are committed to cause something new in their life. Cherri coaches women on how to move beyond their limitations to get want they want in life. Website: http//:www.coachcherri.com  Email: jazzyc@coachcherri.com

"A New Beginning"

REFLECTION BY HENRI NUOWEN                                        

We must learn to live each day, each hour, yes, each minute as a new beginning, a unique opportunity to make everything new..  Imagine that we could live each moment as a moment filled with new life. Imagine that we could live each day as a day full of promises. Imagine that we could walk through the new year listening to a voice saying to us "I have a gift for you and can't wait for you to see it." Imagine.

Is it possible that our imagination can lead us to the truth of our lives: Yes, it can! The problem is that we allow our past to say to us :You know it all, you have seen it all, be realistic; the future will be just another repeat of the past. Try to survive it as best you can"

  

There are many cunning foxes jumping on our shoulders and whispering in our ears the great lie "There is nothing new under the sun ... don't let yourself be fooled."

So what are we to do? First, we must send the foxes back to where they belong - their foxholes. And then we must open our minds and our hearts to the voice that resounds through the valleys and hills of our life saying "Let me show you where I live among my people. My name is God-with-you."