By Linda Hastings
My 20th high school reunion was next weekend. I had been working on the committee to plan and organize it so I was ready. It was always fun to be on the committee because you sort of had a head start on talking to everyone and getting news about their families, jobs, successes and unfortunately, even some tragedies.
The weekend plans included an informal gathering on Friday night, a family picnic on Saturday along with a friendly game of baseball between our rival high school from back in the day, a dance on Saturday night and a private party afterwards for the committee and select few in the hotel. It would be a busy weekend and there were obviously lots to do, but the expectation of seeing old friends and reminiscing about those days gone by far outweighed the time and energy the committee had invested over the past twelve months.
We arrived early on Saturday to set up for the picnic. After getting the tables ready, organizing the serving line and making sure the drinks were on ice I walked over to the ball field to see what was going on. Our rival team, Irving High School, had not yet arrived. They too were having their reunion that weekend and since some of our older siblings had attended Irving High before they opened the second high school, many of their classmates had attended grade school or junior high with us. I was anxious to see if anyone I knew showed up.
Danny Watkins had not attended any of the prior three reunions and his name appeared on the 'missing' list once again. I hadn't thought much about it, or him for that matter. After all, we only dated for a portion of our junior year and it ended badly. I recalled how I found out he had taken another girl to her band banquet and I had known nothing about it until a week later. I was so hurt and angry.
When he called and I confronted him, he tried to explain, but there was no way I would hear it. He had gone out on me, and I had to hear all about it from my girlfriends - end of story. At school I avoided him. I knew the way he went from class to class so I purposely went the opposite direction. Several times, he tried to find me, going by my locker and waiting. When I saw him, I would dash off down another hall. I even quit going to the baseball field after school to watch him practice and wait for him so we could spend a few minutes together before going home.
It wasn't bad enough that he had taken her to this banquet, but Phyllis was not at all his type. She was rather masculine for one thing, short and overweight - at the time it was humiliating that he had chosen her over me. My thoughts from back then brought a certain amount of embarrassment to me now - how judgmental I was then.
At our last committee meeting, we re-read the list of our missing classmates. Every effort had been taken to find them and many we did find was the result of someone in our group staying in contact with a parent who could give us an address or phone number. But Danny remained on the list each and every time and it seemed as if he has just vanished. As his name was read the guys in charge of putting the baseball team together simultaneously reacted, "Danny, yeah we need Danny for our team." After all, he had played for our high school and he was one of the best players on the team. "Doesn't anyone know how to get in touch with him?"
Discussion flew around the table - "What about his sister?" "Didn't she graduate the year after our class?" "Can someone try to find him?" I secretly knew it was hopeless; we had traveled all avenues to find him in the past and even again this year, and without any luck whatsoever. I kept my thoughts to myself, but I knew it wasn't going to happen.
My thoughts returned to the softball field where it was being readied by park staff, bases were set in place, clean chalk lines drawn. Some of our now 38-year-old players were taking advantage of some last minute practice. The umpires were laughing and collecting the line up from our coach. The opposing team had not yet arrived. They still had a couple of hours before game time.
Seeing that things were under control on the field, I headed back towards the pavilion to take my place at the registration table. Lining up the nametags alphabetically, I wondered just how many we could expect to show up today. After all, we hadn't asked for confirmation from anyone, it was simply, 'show up and bring the family'.
Standing in front of the table still looking over the names, I suddenly got one of those 'someone is watching me' feelings. You know, the one that makes you a little uneasy, but a little anxious too? I ignored it. Another few minutes and somehow it seemed to get stronger. Looking up, I glanced around the pavilion - nothing. I went back to what I was doing, and again I felt those eyes on me - but who?
More determined to shake off that feeling, I looked up again, searching beyond the pavilion and taking a wider sweep of the park. Kids were playing tag; friends were talking, hugging and greeting others as they arrived. A guy leaned against a tree, arms folded, ball cap pulled tightly down around his eyes. He was there before too, just standing there, looking in my direction. I did a double take this time and yes, it was him. It was Danny!
My eyes met his, and a grin came over his entire face and with that, I froze. Standing there, looking right at him, I couldn't move or speak or do anything - it was as if I was standing in concrete. He began walking towards me. I'm sure the look on my face must have been utter astonishment and yet he continued to grin.
As he approached, he looked over the table at the neatly placed rows of nametags and then spoke, "What, none for me?" My mind was reeling. How long had he been standing there? Who had found him? How did he know about the reunion? Thoughts were spinning in my head and yet I couldn't speak a word.
Finally, he looked straight into my eyes and said, "How have you been, Linda?" Catching my breath, I managed to get out, "Good, uh, uh, uh, good I guess." "And you?" "How have you been?" "No, better yet, where have you been?" I managed to say, my mouth suddenly as dry as cotton.
He explained that he had moved near Houston some years earlier and that his sister had seen an article in the local newspaper about the upcoming reunion so she contacted him. When he found out about it, he immediately made plans to attend. There had not been time to preregister or contact the committee about coming so he wondered if he would be able to attend the dance that evening or not.
I looked around him, he appeared to be alone. "Where's your family?" I asked. "They are at my Mom and Dad's house", he replied. My mind was adding up what he said, 'they' - that had to mean a wife and kids. But what on earth was I thinking anyway, I was married, with two daughters of my own and after all, it had been 20 years since I had seen Danny and.and.and. My brain couldn't compute my thoughts fast enough to keep up and carry on a civilized conversation with Danny too, so I changed the subject.
"Here, let me make you a name tag." He stood there while I scribbled his name with a hand shaking so hard I wondered if you could even read it when I finished. Other classmates had started to arrive and wanted to get their nametags as well, he stepped aside for a moment while I tried desperately to remain calm and take care of business.
When the table cleared again I turned to him. "Will you be coming tonight?" I blurted out, trying hard to make it sound like a simple, unassuming question. He grinned again, trying hard not to laugh at me. "Yes, I'd like to, if you think it's OK since we don't have a reservation or anything." Again, computing each word that he said and reading between the lines, I responded, "Sure, it's fine, you can just pay at the door."
Pressing to find out for sure and knowing I had to ask, I just said it, "So, it will be you and your wife?" Detecting a slight sign of disappointment on that glowing face of his, he replied, "Yes, me and my wife." I don't know why I felt the way I did, after all, we were kids - 16 or 17.
We had only been together for a few months, it wasn't like we had planned a future together or anything but somehow I too felt disappointed. Later that afternoon, while I changed and got ready for the party, I addressed my feelings and came to the conclusion that maybe I just wanted to spend some time with him and find out what had happened so long ago - closure if you will.
At the hotel I took my place at the registration table again. My husband didn't care anything about attending. Three prior reunions made him realize that my being on the committee meant I would be running all over the place and making sure everything was perfect. It would not be a fun filled evening for him, so he was relieved when I told him going was optional.
I had spent the afternoon getting ready. Wearing a dress I had borrowed from a friend, I wanted to look my best - after all, I would be confronting 237 high school friends and critics who would be talking tomorrow about everything from dresses to shoes. When I took that last look in the mirror, I told myself, this is as good as it's going to get, then turned and headed out.
Row after row of nametags filled the table. It was a good response this year and as the music belted out the sounds of the 60's the room began to fill. A full hour had passed before I knew it. We were busy helping everyone get their registration forms completed and taking money from those last minute classmates.
I hadn't thought about Danny - after all, there was no chance I'd get to talk to him tonight, at least not about the past and what had happened between us. Maybe it was best, but if the next 20 years were like the last, I would never be able to shake it off and forget it without some sort of explanation from him.
Registration was just about to close and we were gathering the nametags that were left on the table when I saw him walk into the hotel lobby. I pretended not to notice him and in my mind I rehearsed what I would say when I met his wife. Before I knew it he was standing at the table. "Hello again", he said to me. I looked up and replied, "Hello".
He reached for his wallet and asked, "How much are the tickets?" I quoted him the price per couple as I reached for a blank nametag. "What is your wife's name?" I asked, poised with pen in hand. "Her name is Susan, but she didn't come with me" he replied. Stopping what I was doing, I looked up at him, he grinned back at me and handed me his money. "Oh, well you only owe me half that", I replied.
I handed him his change, his nametag and he turned to walk away, then turned back and said to me, "You will save me at least one dance, won't you?" I smiled back at him and replied, "You can count on it".
The evening was filled with fun, laughter, hugs and tears while we relived high school as the kids we once were, remembering the fun times, the practical jokes, the stories, teachers, homework, football games, those we lost along the way and more. It was magical and the committee's hard work paid off by the way everyone was enjoying themselves.
The music blared, and we laughed at those who attempted to make their mark on the dance floor. When Danny wasn't visiting with others in the room, he sat at the table I selected and we talked about our spouses, kids, jobs and hobbies. Idle talk, catching up on the last 20 years, with constant interruptions, neither of us had brought up the past.
At the conclusion of the dance, Danny offered to help us clean up and take down the decorations. The committee was provided a hospitality suite as part of the package of renting the ballroom and it was understood that the party would continue into the night and possibly morning.
Most of the committee members took advantage of the discounted room rate as well, knowing the dangers of driving after an exhilarating evening that involved alcohol. I opted to share a room and the cost with a girlfriend of mine and our room was adjacent to the suite.
As the gang finished picking up the last of the streamers and balloons, someone yelled out, "Let's go party!" Danny looked at me as if to question whether or not the invitation included him and I said, "Yes, that means you too, silly!" He tried to argue, but I stopped him short and said, "It took you 20 years to get here tonight, you may as well make the most of it in case we lose you for another 20." He grinned wide and shook his head to indicate he agreed.
By the time we entered the suite, the party was in full swing. People had filled the room and the bar was busy serving beer and wine. Danny asked me what I wanted to drink and I replied, "Wine, white if they have it". He walked to the bar and suddenly my tired feet and aching back felt new again.
Around me everyone was either talking to someone or laughing out loud. My classmates were pouring in and it brought back memories of those parties we had in school when parents went out of town and left their 'well behaved and trusted' teens to themselves. I smiled at the thought.
Danny returned with my wine. We sat and talked, trying to speak over the loud music but quickly realized it just wasn't going to happen. After a couple of hours, the party began to slow down, the manager returned for the third time to reminded us that other guests in the hotel were not nearly as happy about our party; and those who had rooms filtered out, leaving just a few of us behind.
At last the conversation turned to us, those two kids that met after school and football practice, at our lockers and lunch; who wrote notes in class and passed them in the halls, who spent hours on the phone at night until one of our parents made us get off and that night he took Phyllis to the banquet.
Danny asked in a soft even tone, "Linda, what did I do to make you so angry at me that you broke up?" I looked at him somewhat surprised, "You went out on me!" I answered. "No, I didn't - I took a friend to her banquet, and it wasn't a date - in fact it was anything but a date" he corrected. "What do you mean?" I asked as I searched his eyes for the truth. "Phyllis was my neighbor, we grew up together and her mom and mine were best friends. When her mom realized she wasn't going to the banquet she asked me to go with her just so she would go." "I never had an interest in Phyllis, we were just friends."
How foolish I felt! What did I do? How did I not know this back then? "Danny", I started "you never told me all this, why?" "Linda", came his reply, "You never let me. Each time I tried to catch up with you at school, you went the other way, or avoided me altogether. When I called your house, your folks would tell me you were not there and you would call me back, but you never did. I finally gave up trying to explain." It was true, all of it. To avoid what I thought was him wanting to break up with me for Phyllis was a complete misunderstanding on my part. I never gave him a chance to explain it to me; I had been so irrational at the time, so stubborn. I had hurt him, leaving him to wonder all these years what he had done to deserve my indifference towards him as I too wondered why he went out with Phyllis.
By the time we sorted out what had happened, just the two of us remained awake. The clock registered 5:08 am; people were asleep on the floor and sofas. The music was but a whisper in the background and for the first time in 20 years, my heart was at peace with Danny.
Footnote: It's 2010, our 40th reunion is only 68 days away. Danny is once again on the missing list and has been since that night. I have exhausted all efforts to find him and as I prepare for the next big party, I can only wonder if he will be there. Stay tuned.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Linda has been writing for a number of years now and writes about true experiences that are near and dear to her heart. Many of her stories are tributes to family members. In addition to writing, Linda is a full time Executive Assistant, who is married with two grown daughters. She enjoys spending leisure time on the lake or on their Harley Davidson. Linda's love for writing stories began when her children were small; she would create tales to entertain them using their names and their friends as the characters. Linda's stories have been published in Chicken Soup for the Soul, the book and the weekly newspaper syndicate, Fort Worth Business Press and you may recognize her name from other stories she has shared on MyDailyInsights as well. She can be reached at lghastings@embarqmail.com
