LEFT BEHIND

By Pamela Perry Blaine

© November 2005

They're gone now. I stood in the driveway and watched my grown children drive off into the distance. I looked down the road until I could no longer see their vehicles.

"They live way too far away from me", I said to myself. "When did they grow up and become parents of small children? Shouldn't that be me?"

I slipped back inside the house and just walked through the rooms for no reason in particular. I was just missing them already and looking for signs of their having been here. There were pillows on the floor where they had been tossed from the couch that had been used for a bed and a few stuffed animals lying around where the children had been playing.

I smiled at the little fingerprints on my mirror. I didn't wipe them off. I thought back to the time when I tried so hard to keep the fingerprints off the mirrors and doors when my children were small. Now, I wanted the tiny fingerprints to stay so that I could see them there just a little longer. Oh, I knew I would eventually clean the glass doors and the mirror but for now, they remained a work of art, a collage of tiny fingerprints for my viewing.

As I walked around the house, I picked up a few items on the floor and straightened a chair. I decided to sort through the toy box and I found a flying dinosaur, a skeleton, and a Frankenstein that had mysteriously taken up residence in my box of toys. It always amazes me how Ben, the five-year-old connoisseur of toys, remembers the items in the toy box and knows whom they belong to and if anything is missing.

I walked into the kitchen and there on the back of the sink was a bottlebrush that had been left behind. "Ah, even Tessa left something behind," I announced. Well, I suppose she had help since she is just four months old.

"I wonder what else has been left behind," I said out loud to no one in particular. My husband heard me and joined the search for things left behind.

It seems like every time our family gets together something is left behind. When I call my children to tell them what they have left behind I am usually told, "Oh, just bring it when you come.", "Keep it for me until I come back the next time", or "Hey, I really need that, would you mind mailing it to me?"

"Oh look! Here's Tegan's tooth," I said to my husband as I picked up a ziplock bag with her name engraved on it. Tegan had a loose tooth and had managed to wiggle it out earlier in the day. "Now, she can't put it under her pillow. I wonder if it will work if I put it under my pillow. The Tooth Fairy is going to be so confused!" I laughed.

"Here's a pair of tennis shoes," Mike said. "And three socks!" He added.

Maybe the mystery of extra socks in the dryer has been solved. Perhaps some people are wearing three socks at a time!

"Hey, Ben left his rubber spider," I said to my husband.

"Oh, it will be here when he comes back." He replied.

"Not if I can help it." I said as I recalled my last encounter with the creepy artificial arachnid. I remembered how Ben had giggled like crazy the first time I had seen one of his monster spiders he had placed in a strategic place for me to find. He loves to see me jump and he is never disappointed since making Grammy jump doesn't take much with or without spiders.

"You just never know when you might need a huge black spider that looks and feels real." I said as I hastily threw it in the box with the shoes to mail to my daughter.

"I hope she doesn't have a heart attack when she opens the box but then I imagine she's pretty used to rubber spiders by now."

I walked on around the house finding more things that had been left behind: A toothbrush, a ponytail band, an angel figurine, a pie pan, a frozen teething ring in the freezer, and last but not least the insides of a turkey fryer.

I was really kind of enjoying myself. It gave me something to do after they left to take my mind off of missing them.

Then my eyes teared up as I noticed the baby outfit beside the sink where it had been left to dry after spots had been scrubbed out of it. The little outfit, now stain free, reminded me of the trip to the emergency room with Rowan due to a gash on her head that was caused from a flower pot pulled over by her curious little fingers.

"Hmmm, things left behind. . .", I pondered to myself. It seems there is one thing that is left behind on every occasion. Memories are always left behind, I reasoned, and what a precious thing good memories are to us. I thought how each item left behind reminded me of the person it belonged to and the story surrounding it. The insides of the turkey fryer that was left behind reminded me of the delicious Thanksgiving meal that we all enjoyed. The empty pie pan reminded me of Katie's delicious pies. The angel figurine reminded me of the white elephant gift exchange game that we play every year. Even the bad memory of Rowan's injury reminded me of how frightened I was at the sound of her cry. It is a bad memory that turned into a good one as it reminded us of how precious little Rowan is to us.

Memories happen even if we aren't aware of it. The stressful and difficult moments often become memories that we look back on later with laughter and joy. They are the stories of the future when one day someone will say, "Remember when ...... ?", and everyone laughs.

Then, of course, there are some memories that need to be left behind. The memories of past hurts, unforgiveness, bitterness, and anger should be left behind forever. These are the things that we should never keep until the next time, mail back, or bring with us to our next visit.

Yes, I stood in the driveway and watched my grown children drive off into the distance and I remembered my own parents once doing the same thing. I never knew then that I would one day be the one waving from the driveway and feeling my heart drive off down the road. That's because there is one more thing besides memories left behind ... and that is love.

"To have a child is to decide forever to have your heart

go walking around outside your body." 
~Elizabeth Stone

 

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Pamela and her husband live in Missouri.She enjoys writing, music, and country living and writes "Pam's Corner" for the local newspaper. Many of her stories have been published on the internet, as well as in several books. She has loved music and writing ever sinceshe can remember, plays piano at church and is an avid reader. One ofher goals is to be able to write for my children and grandchildren, so special memories will not be forgotten.Pamela has a CD entitled "I'll Walk You Home". If you would like copies, they are available by freewill donation. More information as well as a clip from the CD please visit: http://blaines.us/PamyPlace.htm Contact Pam via e-mail: pamyblaine@blaines.us

Life is short, so smile and be grateful as long as we are here.

  

Beautiful Lesson   !!!!!!!! The girl in the picture is  Katie Kirkpatrick,  she is  21 .  Next to her, her fiancé, Nick, 23.   The picture was taken shortly before their wedding ceremony, held on January 11, 2005 in the US . Katie has terminal cancer and spend hours a day receiving medication. In the picture, Nick is waiting for her on one of the many sessions of chemo to end. In spite of all the pain, organ failures, and morphine shots, Katie is going along with her wedding  and took care of every detail. The dress had to be adjusted a few times due to her constant weight loss An unusual accessory at the party was the oxygen tube that Katie used throughout the ceremony and reception as well. The other couple in the picture are Nick's parents. Excited to see  their son marrying his high school sweetheart. Katie, in her wheelchair with the oxygen tube ,  listening  to a song from her husband and friends   At the reception, katie had to take a few rests.    The pain did not  allow her to stand for long periods Katie died five days after her wedding day. Watching a woman so ill and weak getting married and with a smile on her face makes us think..... Happiness is reachable, no matter how long it lasts .    We should stop maki ng our lives complicated.  Life is short Break the rules forgive quickly  love truly , laugh constantly And never stop smiling No matter how strange life is Life is not always the party we expected to be but as long as we are here, we should smile and be grateful.

Inspiration for Today

Feelings of worth flourish only in an atmosphere where individual differences are appreciated, mistakes are tolerated, communication is open, and rules are flexible - the kind of atmosphere that is found in a nurturing family.

~Virginia Satir

Burned Biscuits

When I was a kid, my mom liked to make breakfast food for dinner every now and then. And I remember one night in particular when she had made breakfast after a long, hard day at work. On that evening so long ago, my mom placed a plate of eggs, sausage, and extremely burned biscuits in front of my dad. I remember waiting to see if anyone noticed! Yet all my dad did was reach for his Biscuit, smile at my mom and ask me how my day was at school.

I don't remember what I told him that night, but I do remember hearing my mom apologize to my dad for burning the biscuits. And I'll never forget what he said: "Honey, I love burned biscuits."

Later that night, I went to kiss Daddy good night and I asked him if he really liked his biscuits burned. He wrapped me in his arms  and  said, "Your momma put in a long hard day at work today and she's real tired. And besides... a burnt biscuit never hurt anyone!"

You know, life is full of imperfect things... and imperfect people. I'm not the best at hardly anything, and I forget birthdays and anniversaries  just like everyone else. What I've learned over the years is that learning to accept each others faults and choosing to celebrate each others differences, is one of the most important keys to creating a healthy, growing, and lasting relationship.

So...please pass me a biscuit. And yes, the burned one will do just fine! And please pass this along to someone who has enriched your life... I just did!

Life is too short to wake up with regrets... Love the people who treat you right and forget about the ones who don't.

ENJOY LIFE *NOW* - IT HAS AN EXPIRATION DATE

 "We are at our best when we serve God by serving others" 

Cowboy's Guide To Life

by Bob Hardison

• Most of the stuff people worry about ain't never gonna happen anyway.
• Life ain't about how fast you run, or how high you climb, but how well you bounce.
• Words that soak into your ears are whispered, not yelled.
• Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.
• Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.
• Don't sell your mule to buy a plow.
• If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there with ya.
• Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.  You cannot unsay a cruel word.
• Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
• Don't interfere with somethin' that ain't botherin' you none.
• Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.
• The easiest way to eat crow is while it's still warm. The colder it gets, the harder it is to swaller.
• If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.
• The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with looks at you in the mirror every mornin'.
• Don't worry about bitin' off more 'n you can chew; your mouth is probably a whole lot bigger'n you think.
• Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.
• Remember: Don't squat with your spurs on.
• Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll enjoy it a second time.
• If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.
• Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back in.
• The best sermons are lived, not preached.
• Keep skunks and politicians and lawyers at a distance.
• It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.
• If it don't seem like it's worth the effort, it probably ain't.
• It's better to be a has-been than a never-was.
• Meanness don't jest happen overnight.
• When you wallow with pigs, expect to git dirty.