The Three Trees

Once there were three trees on a hill in the woods.
They were discussing their hopes and dreams when the first tree said,

"Someday I hope to be a treasure chest. I could be filled with gold, silver
and precious gems. I could be decorated with intricate carving and everyone
would see the beauty."

Then the second tree said, "Someday I will be a mighty ship. I will take
kings and queens across the waters and sail to the corners of the world.
Everyone will feel safe in me because of the strength of my hull."

Finally the third tree said, "I want to grow to be the tallest and
straightest tree in the forest. People will see me on top of the Hill and
look up to my branches, and think of the heavens and God and how close to
them I am reaching. I will be the greatest tree of all time and people will
always remember me."

After a few years of praying that their dreams would come true, a group of
woodsmen came upon the trees.
When one came to the first tree he said, "This looks like a strong tree, I
think I should be able to sell the wood to a carpenter," and he began
cutting it down. The tree was happy, because he knew that the carpenter
would make him into a treasure chest.

At the second tree the woodsman said, "This looks like a strong tree. I
should be able to sell it to the shipyard." The second tree was happy
because he knew he was on his way to becoming a mighty ship.

When the
woodsmen came upon the third tree, the tree was frightened because he knew
that if they cut him down his dreams would not come true. One of the
Woodsmen said, "I don't need anything special from my Tree, I'll take this
one," and he cut it down.

When the first tree arrived at the carpenters, he was made into a feed box
for animals. He was then placed in a barn and filled with hay. This was not
at all what he had prayed for.

The second tree was cut and made into a small fishing boat. His dreams of
being a mighty ship and carrying kings had come to an end.

The third tree was cut into large pieces, and left alone in the dark.

The years went by, and the trees forgot about their dreams.

Then one day, a man and woman came to the barn.. She gave birth and they
placed the baby in the hay in the feed box that was made from the first
tree. The man wished that he could have made a crib for the baby, but this
manger would have to do. The tree could feel the importance of this event
and knew that it had held the greatest treasure of all time.

Years later, a group of men got in the fishing boat made from the second
tree. One of them was tired and went to sleep. While they were out on the
water, a great storm arose and the tree didn't think it was strong enough to
keep the men safe. The men woke the sleeping man, and He stood and said
"Peace" and the Storm stopped. At this time, the tree knew that it had
carried the King of Kings in its boat.

Finally, someone came and got the third tree. It was carried through the
streets as the people mocked the man who was carrying it. When they came to
a stop, the man was nailed to the tree and raised in the air to die at the
top of a hill. When Sunday came, the tree came to realize that it was strong
enough to stand at the top of the hill and be as close to God as was
possible, because Jesus had been crucified on it.

The moral of this story is that when things don't seem to be going your way,
always know that God has a plan for you. If you place your trust in Him, God
will give you great gifts.

Each of the trees got what they wanted, just not in the way they had
Imagined.

We don't always know what God's plans are for us. We just know that His ways
are not our ways, but His ways are always best..

Please keep this moving... Pass it on, so God may inspire more people on the
way.

May your day be blessed. And until we meet again, may God cradle you In the
palm of His hand

No Santa?

Author Unknown

I remember tearing across town on my bike to visit my Grandma on the day my big sister dropped the bomb: "There is no Santa Claus," she jeered. "Even dummies know that!"

My Grandma was not the gushy kind, never had been. I fled to her that day because I knew she would be straight with me. I knew Grandma always told the truth, and I knew that the truth always went down a whole lot easier when swallowed with one of her world-famous cinnamon buns. Grandma was home, and the buns were still warm. Between bites, I told her everything.

She was ready for me. "No Santa Claus!" she snorted. "Ridiculous! Don't believe it. That rumor has been going around for years, and it makes me mad, plain mad. Now, put on your coat, and let's go" "Go? Go where, Grandma?" I asked.

"Where" turned out to be Kerby's General Store, the one store in town that had a little bit of just about everything. As we walked through it doors, Grandma handed me twenty dollars. That was a bundle in those days "Take this money and buy something for someone who needs it. I'll wait for you in the car." Then she turned and walked out of Kerby's.

I was only eight years old. I'd often gone shopping with my mother, but never had I shopped for anything all by myself. The store seemed big and crowded, full of people scrambling to finish their Christmas shopping. For a few moments I just stood there, wondering what to buy, and who on earth to buy it for. Suddenly I thought of Bobbie Decker. He sat right behind me in Mrs. Pollock's grade-two class. Bobbie Decker didn't have a coat. I knew that because he never went out for recess during the winter. I fingered the twenty-dollar bill with growing excitement. I would buy Bobbie Decker a coat. I settled on a red corduroy one that had a hood to it. It looked real warm, and he would like that.

That evening, Grandma helped me wrap the coat in Christmas paper and ribbons, and write, "To Bobbie, From Santa Claus" on it - Grandma said that Santa always insisted on secrecy. Then she drove me over to Bobbie Decker's house, explaining as we went that I was now and forever officially one of Santa's helpers. Grandma parked down the street from Bobbie's house, and she and I crept noiselessly and hid in the bushes by his front walk. Then Grandma gave me a nudge. "All right, Santa Claus," she whispered, "get going." I took a deep breath, dashed for his front door, threw the present down on his step, pounded his doorbell and flew back to the safety of the bushes and Grandma. From there we watched Bobbie come to the door and pick up his present from "Santa."

Forty years haven't dimmed the thrill of those moments spent shivering, beside my grandma, in Bobbie Decker's bushes. That night, I realized that those awful rumors about Santa Claus were just what Grandma said they were: ridiculous. Santa was alive and well, and we were on his team."

I still have the Bible, with the coat tag tucked inside: $19.95.

Inspirational Quote

I studied the lives of great men and famous women, and I found that the men and women who got to the top were those who did the jobs they had in hand, with everything they had of energy and enthusiasm and hard work.

Harry Truman

33rd President of the United States

ICE (In Case of Emergency Campaign)

We all carry our mobile phones with names & numbers stored in its memory but nobody, other than ourselves, knows which of these numbers belong to our closest family or friends.

If we were to be involved in an accident or were taken ill, the people attending us would have our mobile phone but wouldn't know who to call. Yes, there are hundreds of numbers stored but which one is the contact person in case of an emergency? Hence this "ICE" (In Case of Emergency) Campaign

The concept of "ICE" is catching on quickly. It is a method of contact during emergency situations. As cell phones are carried by the majority of the population, all you need to do is store the number of a contact person or persons who should be contacted during emergency under the name "ICE" ( In Case Of Emergency).

The idea was thought up by a paramedic who found that when he went to the scenes of accidents, there were always mobile phones with patients, but they didn't know which number to call. He therefore thought that it would be a good idea if there was a nationally recognized name for this purpose. In an emergency situation, Emergency Service personnel and hospital Staff would be able to quickly contact the right person by simply dialing the number you have stored as "ICE."

For more than one contact name simply enter ICE1, ICE2 and ICE3 etc. A great idea that will make a difference!

Let's spread the concept of ICE by storing an ICE number in our Mobile phones today!

Please forward this. It won't take too many "forwards" before everybody will know about this It really could save your life, or put a loved one's mind at rest .


Remember:-
ICE will speak for you when you are not able to...

Joke Time: EURO English

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would be known as "EuroEnglish."

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.

The hard "c" will be dropped in favor of the "k:" This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replased with the "f." This will make words like "fotograf" shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mess of the silent "e"s in the language is disgraseful and they should go away.

By the 4th year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer.

ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU!!!!!

And zen ve vil take over ze vorld!!!!

A Good Speech

Butch Jimenez, head of PLDT's media and strategic ! communications department, delivered this speech at the UP Diliman Class 2003 commencement exercises


AS college students, you're just about to set sail into the real world. As you prepare for the battleground of life, you'll hear many speeches, read tons of books and get miles of advice telling you to work hard, dream big, go out and do something for yourself, and have a vision.

Not bad advice, really. In fact, following these nuggets of truth may just bring you to the top. But as I've lived my life over the years, I have come to realize that it is great to dream big, have a vision, make a name, and work hard. But guess what: There's something better than that.

So my message today simply asks the question, What's better than...? Let's start off with something really simple. What's better than a long speech? No doubt, a short one. So, you guys are in luck because I do intend to keep this short.

Now, let me take you through a very simple math exam. I'll rattle off a couple of equations, and you tell me what you observe about them. Be mindful of the instructions. You are to tell me what you observe about the equations. Here goes:

3+4=7, 9+2=11, 8+4=13, and 6+6=12. Tell me, what do you observe?

Every time I conduct this test, more than 90 percent of the participants immediately say, 8+4 is NOT 13, it's 12!

That's true and they are correct. But they could have also observed that the three other equations were right. That 3+4 is 7, that 9+2 is 11, and that 6+6 is 12.

What's my point? Many people immediately focus on the negative instead of the positive. Most of us focus on what's wrong with other people more than what's right about them.

Examine those four equations. Three were right and only one was wrong. But what is the knee-jerk observation? The wrong equation.

If 10 people you didn't know were to walk through that door, most of you would describe those people by what's negative about them. He's fat. He's balding. Oh, the short one. Oh, the skinny girl. Ahhh, 'yung pango. Etc.

Get the point? It's always the negative we focus on and not the positive.

You'll definitely experience this in the corporate world. You do a hundred good things and one mistake-guess what? Chances are, your attention will be called on that one mistake.

So what's better than focusing on the negative? Believe me, its focusing on the positive. And if this world could learn to focus on the positive more than the negative, it would be a much nicer place to live in.

Better than working hard.

We have always been told to work hard. Our parents say that, our teachers say that, and our principal says that. But there's something better than merely working hard. It's working SMART.

It's taking time to understand the situation, and coming out with an >effective and efficient solution to get more done with less time and effort. As the Japanese say, "There's always a better way."

One of the most memorable case studies I came across with as I studied Japanese management at Sophia University in Tokyo was the case of the empty soap box, which happened in one of Japan's biggest cosmetics companies.

The company received a complaint! that a consumer had bought a box of soap that was empty. It immediately isolated the problem to the assembly line, which transported all the packaged boxes of soap to the delivery department. For some reason, one soap box went through the assembly line empty.

Management tasked its engineers to solve the problem. Post-haste, the engineers worked hard to devise an X-ray machine with high-resolution monitors manned by two people to watch all the soap boxes that passed through the line to make sure they were not empty. No doubt, they worked hard and they worked fast.

But a rank-and-file employee that was posed the same problem came out with another solution. He bought a strong industrial electric fan and pointed it at the assembly line. He switched the fan on, and as each soap! box passed the fan, it simply blew the empty boxes out of the line.

Clearly, the engineers worked hard, but the rank-and-file employee worked smart. So what's better than merely working hard? It's working smart.

Having said that, it is still important to work hard. If you could combine both working hard and working smart, you would possess a major factor toward success.

Better than dreaming big I will bet my next month's salary that many have encouraged you to dream big. Maybe even to reach for the stars and aim high.

I sure heard that about a million times right before I graduated from this university. So I did. I did dream big. I did aim high. I did reach for the stars. No doubt, it works. In fact, the saying is true: "If you aim for >nothing, that's exactly what you'll hit: nothing."

But there's something better than dreaming big. Believe me, I got shocked myself. And I learned it from the biggest dreamer of all time, Walt Disney. When it comes to dreaming big, Walt is the man. No bigger dreams were fulfilled than his. Every leadership book describes him as the ultimate dreamer.

In fact, the principle of dreaming and achieving is the core message of the Disney hit song, "When You Wish Upon a Star".

"When you wish upon a star, makes no difference who you are; anything your heart desires will come to you. If your heart is in your dream, no request is too extreme. When you wish upon a star, as dreamers do," as Jiminy Cricket sang.

But is that what he preached in the Disney company? Dream?

Imagineering

Well, not exactly. Kinda, but not quite. The problem with dreaming is if that's all you do, you'll really get nowhere. In fact, you may just fall asleep and never wake up.

The secret to Disney's success is not just dreaming, it's IMAGINEERING.

You won't find this word in a dictionary. It's purely a Disney word. Those who engage in imagineering are called imagineers. The word combines the words "imagination" and "engineering."

In the book "Imagineers," Disney's CEO, Michael Eisner, claims that "imagineers turn impossible dreams into real magic."

Walt Disney explained there is really no secret to their approach. They just keep moving forward-opening new doors and doing new things, because they are curious. And it is this curiosity that leads them down new paths. They always dream, explore and experiment. In short, imagineering is the blending of creative imagination and technical know-how.

Eisner expounds on this thought by saying that "Not only are imagineers >curious, they are courageous, outrageous, and their creativity is contagious."

The big difference with imagineers is that they dream and then they DO! So don't just be a dreamer, be an imagineer.

You must have all been given a lecture at one time or another about the importance of having a vision. Even leadership expert John Maxwell says that an indispensable quality of a leader is to have a vision. The Bible also makes it very clear that "Without vision, people perish." So no doubt about it, having a vision is important to success.

But surprise! There's something more potent than a vision. It's a CAUSE. If all you're doing is trying to reach your vision and you're pitted against someone fighting for a cause, chances are you'll lose.

The Vietnam War is a classic example. Literally with sticks and stones, the Viet Cong beat the heavily armed US Army to surrender, primarily because the US had a vision to win the war, but the Vietnamese were fighting for a cause.

In the realm of business, many leaders have visions of making their company No. 1, or grabbing market share, or forever increasing profits.

Nothing really wrong with that vision, but take the example of Sony founder Akio Morita. He did not just have a vision to build the biggest electronics company in the world. In his biography, "Made in Japan," he reveals that the real reason he set up Sony was to help rebuild his country, which had just been battered by war. He had a cause he was fighting for. His vision to be an electronics giant was secondary.

What's the difference between a vision and a cause? Here's what sets them apart...

No one is willing to die for a vision. People will die for a cause. You posses a vision. A cause possesses you. A vision lies in your hands. A cause lies in your heart. A vision involves sacrifice. A cause involves the ultimate sacrifice. Just a word of caution. You must have the right vision, and you must be fighting for the right cause. In the end, right will always win out.

It may take time, and it may take long. But if you have the right vision and are fighting for the right cause, you will prevail. If not, no matter how sincere you are, if you are not fighting for what is right, you will ultimately fail.

Two final quotes

Allow me to end with two quotes that I have lived by ever since I stepped out of UP.

The first comes from the Bible, which says, "To whom much is given, much is required."

Having been given the opportunity to study in UP, no doubt, much has been given to you in terms of an excellent education. Don't forget that in return, much is now required of you to use that education not just for yourself, but for others.

And as you move up and start reaching the pinnacle of success, even more will be required of you to look at the welfare of others, of society and of the country.

Though I have often dreamed of addressing any graduating class of UP Diliman, I never really thought it would happen. This brings me to the second quote I have held close to my heart as I traverse the destiny God has laid out for me.

"There is no destination beyond reach of one who walks with God." My standing in front of you today, as the youngest commencement speaker of this esteemed university in 92 years, is proof of how true that quote is.

A final review:

* What's better than focusing on the negative? Focus on the positive.
* What's better than working hard? It's working smart.
* What's better than dreaming? Imagineering.
* What's better than doing something for yourself? Doing something for your country.
* What's better than a vision? A cause.
* What's better than a long speech? Definitely, a short one.

The 90/10 Principle

WHAT is the 90/10 Principle? It means that 10 percent of life is made up of what happens to you; 90 percent of life is decided by how you react.

What does this mean? We really have no control over 10 percent of what happens to us.

For instance, we cannot stop the car from breaking down, the plane from arriving late, which throws our whole schedule off.

We have no control over this 10 percent. The other 90 percent is different. You can control the 90 percent.

How? By your reaction. Let's use an example.

You are eating breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks over a cup of coffee onto your business shirt. You have no control over what has just happened.

What happens next will be determined by how you react. You curse. You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the cup over. She breaks down in tears. After scolding her, you turn to your spouse and criticize her for placing the cup too close to the edge of the table.

A short verbal battle follows. You storm upstairs and change your shirt. Back downstairs, you find your daughter has been too busy crying to finish breakfast and get ready for school. She misses the bus.Your spouse must leave immediately for work. You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school. Because you are late, you drive 40 miles an hour in a 30 mph speed limit. After a 15-minute delay and throwing $60 (traffic fine) away, you arrive at school. Your daughter runs into the building without saying goodbye.

After arriving at the office 20 minutes late, you find you forgot your briefcase. Your day has started terrible. As it continues, it seems to get worse and worse. You look forward to coming home. When you arrive home, you find small wedge in your relationship with your spouse and daughter.

Why?

Because of your reaction that morning. Why did you have a bad day?
A) Did the coffee cause it?
B) Did your daughter cause it?
C) Did the policeman cause it?
D) Did you cause it?

The answer is D.

You had no control over what happened with the coffee. How you reacted in those 5 seconds is what caused your bad day.

Here is what could have been done and should have happened. Coffee splashes over you. Your daughter is about to cry. You gently say, "It's OK honey, you just need to be more careful next time." Grabbing a towel you rush upstairs. After pulling out a new shirt and your briefcase, you come back down in time to look through the window and see your child getting on the bus. She turns and waves. You and your spouse kiss before you go to work. You arrive 5 minutes early and cheerfully greet the staff.

Notice the difference?
Two different scenarios.
Both started the same.
Both ended different.
Why?
Because of how you REACTED.

A powerful principle...especially for those who take life too seriously. Apply the 90/10 principle. It will change your life--at least the way you react to situations.

Cancer no match for Sarah

SOURCE

Though only 14, Sarah Strydom’s defiance of the disease is an inspiration to many others, writes Nomfundo Xulu

IT’S ONE thing to read about cancer and how it has sneaked up on millions, but when you meet a young person who has suffered all manner of threats from the deadly illness and has come out of it with just a limp, a scarred leg, traumatic memories and an attitude big enough to save others like herself , you start to see the disease a bit differently.

“I really cannot really remember much about when I got sick from the chemotherapy, but I know that I missed school for a year because I was in hospital for a very, very long time,” says petite Sarah Strydom, a 14-year-old who was diagnosed with Ewing’s Sarcoma in 2003 when she was just eight years old.

What started off as a post-birthday party dress up day for the aspiring actress who also dreams of being an astronomer, turned into a dreadful realisation for the Strydom family.

“I got a beautiful costume as a gift for my birthday and the next day, when I put it on, I noticed that there was a lump almost the size of a tennis ball on my leg. I did not know where it had come from and I was sure that I had not bumped myself or anything,” Sarah recalls.

“I showed my mom and because the lump grew big very quickly, a day or so later, she took me to the doctor,” the South African under-15 and under-17 badminton star says.

“Soon after we’d been to the first doctor and had tests done, I remember my mom crying her eyes out and I knew something must be wrong because she would never just start crying like that,” she says, looking at Nicky, her 43-year- old mom who has been to hell and back trying to ensure that her daughter pulled through tests, treatment and school work.

“It was a very difficult time for the whole family. I did not know how to explain to Sarah what was happening to her. I barely even understood the type of cancer she had myself. But she was strong from day one and told me not to worry,” Nicky says.

“I don’t know where she gets the strength from, but Sarah has never let the cancer stand in her way. She even defied doctors who believed that she would never walk again after almost a year of treatment and being confined to bed,” Nicky says with tears in her eyes.

Sarah, who has been in remission for five years, says losing her hair was difficult, but the toughest part was the people she lost.

“I made so many friends along my journey and out of seven close friends from the Childhood Cancer Foundation South Africa ward, five have passed away and it hurts.”

She does not think she is in any danger of joining them because of the research she has done on her illness. “I’m in my fifth year of remission, so I know that the chances of the cancer coming back are minimal and I’m not scared. I’m just happy that I can help other people, particularly children who are going through what I went through,” she says.

“When we go for check-ups every four months, Sarah goes to the ward where she spent a year of her life and speaks to children. It’s healing for her and others,” Nicky says.

“Cancer completely changed my life. It has made me such a positive-spirited, motivated and outspoken person,” Sarah says, relaying a story about a lady she once saw in hospital who was on the verge of giving up because of the challenges the cancer posed.

“The lady was crying and saying she had had enough and would rather die than continue to suffer and I asked her if she had children and told her my story. It completely changed her outlook and that made me happy,” Sarah says.

Listening to her and reading her diary, which details the days of her treatment as well as pictures of herself with various famous people, including Danny K and Jeremy Mansfield, who she met during and after the chemotherapy and radiation treatment, it is not difficult to understand why she was featured in the 2005 and the 2009 Moments in Time calender, a project that has been running for seven years and aims to tell the stories of cancer survivors.

“All the people we have featured in Moments in Time have truly inspirational stories to tell and Sarah is one of them. She is so dedicated, talented and ambitious,” says Matthias Haus, Moments in Time project director, at the launch of this year’s calender, which features 13 people from the past six calenders who stood out the most.

“Unfortunately, not everyone we have featured in our calenders is still with us, but they are all heroes for having fought the battle and saved so many other people through their strength and determination,” he says.

For more information on the ‘Moments in Time’ project, visit: www.momentsintime.co.za

To find out more about the Choc foundation, which also runs parent-to-parent workshops, visit: www.choc.org.za

The "Open, Sesame!" of Life

Robert Collier

From The Book of Life

There is a Napoleonic feeling of power that insures success in the knowledge that this invincible "Life Principle" is behind your every act. Knowing that you have working with you a force, which never yet has failed in anything it has undertaken, you can go ahead in the confident knowledge that it will not fail in your case, either. The ingenuity which overcame every obstacle in making you what you are, is not likely to fall short when you have immediate need for it. It is the reserve strength of the athlete, the "second wind" of the runner, the power that, in moments of great stress or excitement, you unconsciously call upon to do the deeds which you ever after look upon as superhuman.

But they are in no wise superhuman. They are merely beyond the capacity of your conscious self. Ally your conscious self with that sleeping giant within you, rouse him daily to the task, and those "superhuman" deeds will become your ordinary, everyday accomplishments.

It matters not whether you are Banker or Lawyer, Business Person or Clerk. Whether you are the custodian of millions, or have to struggle for your daily bread. This "Life Principle" makes no distinction between rich and poor, high and low. The greater your need, the more readily it will respond to your call. Wherever there is an unusual task, wherever there is poverty or hardship or sickness or despair, there is this Servant of your Mind, ready and willing to help, asking only that you call upon him.

And not only is it ready and willing, but it is always able to help. Its ingenuity and resource are without limit. It is Mind. It is Thought. It is the Telepathy that carries messages without the spoken or written word. It is the Sixth Sense that warns you of unseen dangers. No matter how stupendous and complicated, nor how simple your problem may be - the solution of it is somewhere in Mind, in Thought. And since this solution does exist, this Mental Giant can find it for you. It can Know, and it can Do, every right thing. Whatever it is necessary for you to know, whatever it is necessary for you to do, you can know and you can do if you will but seek the help of this Genie-of-your-Mind and work with it in the right way.

DAD'S BELT

by John Gaudet

Out of all the things my dad left me when he died, a piece of an old combine belt was the most valuable. It was the belt his father used to beat him with and it always hung over the door to the bathroom as a reminder of what things could have been.

My father grew up poor in the remote province of New Brunswick. He worked the coal mines from an early age and indeed his life a a child was filled with hard work and harsh discipline. The man he called his father was actually his step father but he wasn't told of this fact until after the brutal man died. His daily routine of work and turmoil was only broken by visits from his uncle buck from Winnipeg. Buck was a large bear of a man who would come twice a year like clockwork to visit his sister and her kids. My dad said he was the kindest man he ever met and I guess it was his influence on my father that helped him break the cycle of abuse in his own home as he grew older .

We couldn't have asked for a kinder more gentle man than my dad and we all trusted and loved him deeply. When he would talk of his childhood and the beatings he received his eye's would slowly slide over to the belt hanging there and his whole demeanor would change. The power of those beatings must have been terrible and I would always go to bed with a heavy heart thinking of the childhood robbed from this gentle and loving man. He taught us that no matter what people said or did to us we would always be welcome home any time, and we knew that we could always count on a smile and a gentle word of advice to soothe us when we got there.

Time continued her dance, we all grew up and moved out but we still continued to seek advice and love from our father till one day we were informed that he had died. It hit us all hard and as we met on the old farm tears flowed freely for this man who had everything taken from him as a child but managed to find something beautiful for his own children to hang on to everyday.

The lawyers came in the days after and the last wishes were stated and passed on. The estate was meager but we all received one gift beyond value or words.

In his last days he had taken the belt down from the wall and cut it into four pieces. We all received a piece of the belt that had hurt our father so terribly. That night we sat around crying discussing what he could have been thinking when he did this. As the night wore on it began to dawn on us what he really wanted.

The belt symbolized everything he taught us not to be.

It was his trophy. He had lived through the abuse. Instead of abandoning his life like so many others had, he embraced it and in doing so he turned a legacy of hate and hut to a life of love and happiness.

I keep that belt on my wall. We all do. It hangs as a reminder of the obstacles we can all overcome with grace and when my daughter is crying because she lost her pokeman cards or skinned her knee, I look at it, hold her tight and think of a man she will never know. A man I was and am proud to call my dad.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

John Aubichon Lives in Northern Saskatchewan with his wife Chantalle and Daughter Charisa. His short stories have been published worldwide in many books and magazines such as Chicken Soup for the Soul, Catholic Digest, and A Cup Of Comfort. He is a copywriter for a major network Radio Station by day and in the evenings he lives out his childhood fantasy of playing drums in a rock and roll band. John can be contacted at drmrjohn@hotmail.com drop him a line, he'd love to hear from you!

What My Father Left Behind

By Janet Perez Eckles

At 13 years of age, my parents and I visited an ophthalmologist. As I sat in the examining chair, my face firmly on the chin rest and pupils dilated, the doctor looked into my eyes, shining a bright light.

"She did inherit it," he said with coldness. "You need to be prepared. There is no cure for this retinal disease."

My father carried the Retinitis Pigmentosa gene causing a deterioration of the retina which, in most cases, results in blindness. Although my brother's retinas seemed to be fine, I'd inherited the gene.

Fifteen years after my initial diagnosis, my father began to lose his eyesight and so did I. He was 55 years old, but I was only 28. In a matter of two years, we had both lost our sight completely.

I focused on the effects of my own darkness. My world crumbled as the black curtain fell, destroying the dreams my husband and I had for us and for our three little boys. But when I turned to God for hope and strength, He responded by opening my eyes to a new revelation.

My father had given me not just the RP gene, but the example of determination and tenacity as well. We were all living in Bolivia in 1964 when he defied the family's opposition to move to America. He and Mom worked tirelessly to satisfy the requirements imposed by the U.S. Immigration Department to enter the country and establish residency.

Once in the states, he overcame humiliation, intense loneliness, helplessness and uncertainty. He endured ridicule due to his lack of fluency in English, but he pressed on. And he managed to gather enough money for the basics--rent a small apartment, buy modest furniture from thrift stores and put a down payment on a car. Nine months later, he sent airline tickets for my mom, my brother and me.

Decades later, as an American citizen, I look back at what he'd shown me. He taught me the determination to move forward when facing adversity. He set an example proving that humility is crucial to success. He demonstrated the commitment to family and the importance of setting priorities.

His journey taught me valuable lessons for my own path in the darkness. Much like a baby takes its first steps holding tight to his father's hand, my dad held onto God as he stepped from the comfort of our hometown in Bolivia to the unknown in a foreign land.

I did the same as I stepped into the unfamiliarity of a sightless world. Holding onto God's hand, I gained confidence and learned the language of gratitude. With profound appreciation for my father's example, I learned how he had applied a powerful blend of faith and tenacity; the same blend I used to fulfill my own role as a wife, mom, Sunday school teacher, Spanish court interpreter, inspirational speaker and writer.

What I inherited from my father helped me to see my life with a more radiant and meaningful glow.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Janet Perez Eckles, featured in the New York Times is an inspirational national speaker, freelance writer, and contributor to seven books including Chicken Soup for the Soul. She has authored "Trials of Today, Treasures for Tomorrow: Overcoming adversities in Life." She imparts insights, inspiration and messages to uplift the soul at: www.janetperezeckles.com

INSTALLING LOVE

Tech Support: Yes, ... how can I help you?

Customer: Well, after much consideration, I've decided to install LOVE. Can you guide me though the process?

Tech Support: Yes. I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?

Customer: Well, I'm not very technical, but I think I'm ready. What do I do first?

Tech Support: The first step is to open your Heart. Have you located your Heart?

Customer: Yes, but there are several other programs running now. Is it okay to install Love while they are running?

Tech Support: What programs are running?

Customer: Let's see, I have Past Hurt, Low Self-Esteem, Grudge, and Resentment running right now.

Tech Support: No problem, Love will gradually erase Past Hurt from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory but it will no longerdisrupt other programs. Love will eventually override Low Self-Esteem with a module of its own called High Self-Esteem. However, you have to completely turn off Grudge and Resentment. Those programs prevent Love from being properly installed. Can you turn those off?

Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?

Tech Support: With pleasure. Go to your start menu and invoke Forgiveness. Do this as many times as necessary until Grudge and Resentment have been completely erased.

Customer: Okay, done! Love has started installing itself. Is thatnormal?

Tech Support: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need to begin connecting to other Hearts in order to get the upgrades.

Customer: Oops! I have an error message already. It says, "Error - Program notrun on external components." What should I do?

Tech Support: Don't worry. It means that the Love program is set up to run on Internal Hearts, but has not yet been run on your Heart. In non-technical terms, it simply means you have to Love yourself before you can Love others.

Customer: So, what should I do?

Tech Support: Pull down Self-Acceptance; then click on the following files: Forgive-Self; Realize Your Worth; and Acknowledge your Limitations.

Customer: Okay, done.

Tech Support: Now, copy them to the "My Heart" directory. The system willoverwrite any conflicting files and begin patching faulty programming. Also, you need to delete Verbose Self-Criticism from all directories and empty your Recycle Bin to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back.

Customer: Got it. Hey! My heart is filling up with new files. Smile is playing on my monitor and Peace and Contentment are copying themselves all over My Heart.Is this normal?

Tech Support: Sometimes. For others it takes awhile, but eventually everything gets it at the proper time. So LOVE is installed and running. One more thing before we hang up. LOVE is Freeware. Be sure to give itand its various modules to everyone you meet. They will in turn share it with others and return some coolmodules back to you.

Why The Elephants Don't Run

By Jim Donovan

A number of years ago, I had the rather unique experience of being backstage in Madison Square Garden, in New York, during the Ringling Brothers Barnum & Bailey Circus. To say the least, it was a fascinating experience. I was able to walk around looking at the lions, tigers, giraffes and all the other circus animals. As I was passing the elephants, I suddenly stopped, confused by the fact that these huge creatures were being held by only a small rope tied to their front leg. No chains, no cages. It was obvious that the elephants could, at any time, break away from their bonds but for some reason, they did not. I saw a trainer near by and asked why these beautiful, magnificent animals just stood there and made no attempt to get away.

"Well," he said, "when they are very young and much smaller we use the same size rope to tie them and, at that age, it's enough to hold them. As they grow up, they are conditioned to believe they cannot break away. They think the rope can still hold them, so they never try to break free."
I was amazed. These animals could at any time break free from their bonds but because they believed they could not, they were stuck right where they were.

Like the elephants, how many of us go through life hanging onto a belief that we cannot do something, simply because we failed at it once before? How many of us are being held back by old, outdated beliefs that no longer serve us? Have you avoided trying something new because of a limiting belief? Worse, how many of us are being held back by someone else's limiting beliefs? Do you tell yourself you can't sell because you're not a salesperson?

Particularly in starting or running a business, we are cautioned not to take risks, usually by well intentioned friends and family. How many of us have heard, "You can't do that?" These are the dream stealers who, due to their own limiting beliefs, will attempt to discourage you from living your dreams. You must ignore them at all cost! I am not suggesting that you should not seek advice from qualified individuals and mentors, but that you avoid like the plague, being swayed by the limiting beliefs of others, especially people who are not in their own business.

Challenge your own limiting beliefs by questioning them. If you begin to question a belief, you automatically weaken it. The more you question your limiting beliefs, the more they are weakened. It's like kicking the legs out from under a stool. Once you weaken one leg, the stool begins to lose its balance and fall. Think back to a time when you "sold" someone on yourself. We are selling all the time. You have to sell your ideas to your spouse, your children, and your employees - even your banker. Maybe, as a child, you sold Girl Scout cookies or magazine subscriptions to raise money for your school team. That was selling too!

Once you realize you are, in fact, a capable salesperson, you have weakened that old belief and began to replace it with a new, empowering one. Look for references to support the new beliefs you want to cultivate. As in the example of the stool, you want to reinforce your beliefs by adding more and more "legs" to them. Find people who have accomplished what you want to accomplish, discover what they did and model their behavior. Remember back to times in your past when you were successful and use that experience to propel yourself forward. If your challenge is in sales, read sales books and listen to tapes or attend sales seminars. This is a critical area of your business. One that cannot be undermined by limiting beliefs.

There is a technique called "fake it until you make it" that works well. I am not suggesting you live in denial, just that you begin to see yourself succeeding. Visualize your successes. See yourself vividly in your minds eye making the sale and reaching your goals. Affirm, over and over, that you are succeeding.

Write your affirmations daily. Of course, make sure you take the appropriate action. As it says in the Bible, "Faith without works is dead."

Remember that your subconscious mind does not know the difference between real and imaginary. Before you go on a sales call, take a moment and mentally rehearse the scene, just like actors and athletes do. Tell yourself, "I'm a great salesperson." Do this over and over, especially just before a sales call. See the sale being made. See and feel the success. You will be pleasantly amazed at the result. Don't take my word for it. Give it a try. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

It has been said throughout history that what ever you believe, with conviction, you can achieve. Don't be like the poor elephant and go through your life stuck because of a limiting belief you were given or developed years ago. Take charge of your life and live it to the fullest. You deserve the best!

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Jim Donovan is the author of the International bestsellers, Handbook To A Happier Life and This Is Your Life, Not A Dress Rehearsal. He is also the founder and CEO of www.FreelanceHelp.com, an Internet network for creative professionals. His articles, books and a free subscription to his newsletter are available from www.jimdonovan.com

Goodbye Mom

This brought a tear to my eye!
Hope this touches you the way it touched me!

GOODBYE MOM


A young man shopping in a supermarket noticed a little old lady following him around. If he stopped, she stopped. Furthermore she kept staring at him.

She finally overtook him at the checkout, and she turned to him and said,

"I hope I haven't made you feel ill at ease;

it's just that you look so much like my late son."

He answered, "That's okay."

"I know it's silly, but if you'd call out "Good bye, Mom" as I leave the store, it would make me feel so happy."

She then went through the checkout, and as she was on her way out of the store, the man called out, "Goodbye, Mom."

The little old lady waved, and smiled back at him.

Pleased that he had brought a little sunshine into someone's day, he went to pay for his groceries.

"That comes to $121.85," said the clerk.

"How come so much ... I only bought 5 items.."

The clerk replied, "Yeah, but your Mother said
you'd be paying for her things, too."

Don't trust little Old Ladies!!!

The Best Time Of My Life

Author Unknown

It was June 15, and in two daysI would be turning thirty. I was insecure about entering a new decadeof my life and feared that my best years were now behind me.

My daily routine included going to the gym for a workout before going to work.

Every morning I would see my friend Nicholas at the gym. He was seventy-nine years old and in terrific shape.

As I greeted Nicholas on this particular day, he noticed I wasn't full of my usual vitality and asked if there was anything wrong. I told him I was feeling anxious about turning thirty. I wondered how I would look back on my life once I reached Nicholas's age, so I asked him, "What was the best time of your life?"

Without hesitation, Nicholas replied, "Well, Joe, this is my philosophical answer to your philosophical question:

"When I was a child in Austria and everything was taken care of for me and I was nurtured by my parents, that was the best time of my life.

"When I was going to school and learning the things I know today, that was the best time of my life.

"When I got my first job and had responsibilities and got paid for my efforts, that was the best time of my life.

"When I met my wife and fell in love, that was the best time of my life.

"The Second World War came, and my wife and I had to flee Austria to save our lives. When we were together and safe on a ship bound for North America, that was the best time of my life.

"When we came to Canada and started a family, that was the best time of my life.

"When I was a young father, watching my children grow up, that was the best time of my life.

"And now, Joe, I am seventy-nine years old. I have my health, I feel good and I am in love with my wife just as I was when we first met. This is the best time of my life."

FOR 2009:

HEALTH

• Drink plenty of water.
• Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
  
• Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants
• Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.
  
• Make time to practice meditation, yoga, and prayer.
  
• Play more games.
• Read more books than you did in 2008.
• Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
• Sleep for 7 hours.
• Take a 10-30 minutes walk every day. And while you walk, smile.
  

PERSONALITY

• Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
  
• Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
• Don't over do. Keep your limits.
• Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
  
• Don't waste your precious energy on gossip.
• Dream more while you are awake.
• Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
  
• Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner of his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
• Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.
  
• Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
  
• No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
• Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
• Smile and laugh more.
• You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
  

SOCIETY

• Call your family often.
• Each day give something good to others.
• Forgive everyone for everything.
• Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
  
• Try to make at least three people smile each day.
• What other people think of you is none of your business.
  
• Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

LIFE

• Do the right thing!
• Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
• GOD heals everything.
• However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
• No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
  
• The best is yet to come.
• When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it.
  
• Your Inner most is always happy. So, be happy.

THE POWER OF BREAKING FREE

by Michael T. Smith

When my son, Justin, was four, he found a caterpillar and put it in a jar.

Each day he fed it fresh grass and leaves. In a few weeks the caterpillar was fat and ready to sleep. One morning we discovered the caterpillar wrapped in a cocoon. It hung from the top of the jar, an example of one of nature's wonders.

Justin was excited. To him, it was like Christmas. He knew a moth or butterfly was about to be born, but he didn't know what kind. He was curious to know what gift nature was about to give him.

"Dad!" he ran to me one day. "Something's happening. Come see!"

He led me to his room. The cocoon had become translucent. We could clearly see the wings of the unborn. A few days later, a beautiful black moth broke free from its silky cage and began to lay eggs on the blades of grass in the jar, completing the life cycle of the little caterpillar.

The next day, I convinced my young son it was time to set the moth free. He took it outside, opened the jar, and the little moth flew out. It circled the yard twice, came back, and landed on Justin's arm. He picked up, tossed it in the air, and the moth repeated its flight pattern. He tried over and over to set it free, but each time it would return to his arm.

Justin gave up. He returned his little pet to the jar. The next day he attempted to set it free again, and after a few return flights to his arm, the moth finally flew off into the tall grass.

Like a person, I believe the moth was afraid to leave what was comfortable. It wanted to stay with something familiar, scared to move on and experience new things.

I was once that little moth. My cocoon was my mother's love. I was comfortable wrapped in it. Like the moth, I didn't want to fly too far from it. My first job required me to move to a new city. I resisted. I was afraid. What would I find there? I liked where I was.

Many times in my life, I have faced a move and resisted. Humans are creatures of habit. We resist change. However, if I hadn't moved, I would not have experienced many new and wonderful things. I also would not have met many of my friends.

The moves have been between cites, provinces, states, and even countries. Each move gave me the opportunity to learn and experience, but best of all, I met friends. I hated leaving my old friends behind, but when I think about it, I didn't lose them.

They're still my friends. I talk to them regularly. However, I have even more friends now.

I'm glad I found my wings, because I met you, my friend.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Michael T. Smith lives in Fort Lee, New Jersey, with his lovely wife Ginny and his son. Ginny is the light of his life and the inspiration for many of his stories. Michael writes for a hobby. You may recognize him as one of our MDI contributing authors. If you would like to contact Michael or read more of his writings you can find him at http://heartsandhumor.com/blog/

I've learned....

I've learned....That life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.


I've learned....That we should be glad God doesn't give us everything we ask for.


I've learned....That money doesn't buy class.


I've learned...That it's those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.


I've learned... That under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.


I've learned....That the Lord didn't do it all in one day. What makes me think I can?


I've learned....That to ignore the facts does
not change the facts.


I've learned....That the less time I have to work, the more things I get done.

THE DAYS IN BETWEEN

By Bob Perks © 2007

Sometimes I need to see my life differently. Like stepping outside it and seeing it from a different angle. Maybe walking around it, underneath it or climbing on top.

Better yet, through the eyes of a child. There is nothing complex about what I am about to share with you. In fact, the beauty of it lies in the simplicity.

I was talking to a friend about all the things I've been going through lately. We were sitting at a table in an open coffee shop located in the center of a mall.

I love coffee and I love conversation.

Just as we began speaking a woman with two teenage girls took the table just behind us. They were rowdy and unsettled as they were talking about all the shopping they were doing. Mom reminded them to sit quietly while she placed their order at the counter.

Remarkably, they quieted down immediately.

"All I want to do is to get through it," I said as we continued our chat.

"I know what you mean," my friend replied.

Then I said, "When I look back over my life all I see is me dealing with a problem and sooner or later another one pops up."

Without hesitation I heard, "What about all the days in between?"

I looked at my friend and he shook his head as he said, "I didn't say that."

"I did!" a young voice replied.

Then from behind him one of the girls turned around, smiled, and repeated, "What about all the days in between?"

I smiled. I thought it wonderful that she felt she had something to offer us.

"Explain." I said.

"Well, this is just my opinion, but people always think about their problems. What about all those days in between? Those days we throw away worrying about what happened and what might happen," she said.

"Those days are good days, probably more of those than the bad ones!" the other girl added.

Just then the woman returned. "Are they bothering you?" she asked.

"No, they helped me see my life differently," I said. "Now I see the days in between."

"More of those than the bad ones!" my friend added.

What do you see?

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Bob's signature story, "I Wish You Enough," has circled the globe via the Internet. His inspiring true stories are based on the people he meets in his travels. In the mall, the airport, the park, or sitting in a restaurant, a simple word or phrase will often catch his attention; hook onto his heart-and from it a story blooms. Bob's unique perspective on life makes him "the philosopher of everyday moments."

http://www.IWishYouEnough.com

perksblog@hotmail.com

Chinese Gooseberries and Oprah?

by Fran Briggs

Oprah and Harpo Productions, have consistently reaped awe-inspiring progress, and record-breaking profits for more than two decades now. While Oprah consistently soars with stellar growth, the rest of the industry seems to stumble, tumble, fumble ... or even disappear. Just what is it about Oprah that has her consistently reaping hilacious growth for all this time and still present fresh, and vivacious as ever?

Oprah Winfrey has reinvented herself so smoothly, so successfully, and with such precision, very few have consciously noticed. This is what I know for sure. Oprah Winfrey is not an "annual," which is dormant for seasons at a time. No, Oprah is -- and will always be -- a "perennial classic."

Oprah consistently manifests phenomenal growth professionally, intellectually, spiritually, financially and socially every "season" of her year. Whereas others, seem content to rely primarily on the harvest of their "falls." Oprah is not only acutely aware of her environment, but she plans (and plants) so well, so meticulously ... she evens reaps harvests during her "winters!"

Chinese Gooseberries didn't sell well at all until they were renamed, Kiwi fruit. Seemingly overnight, this humble, quaint-looking, fuzzy fruit was "reinvented" into an exotic, all-of-a-sudden-much-desired, green intricacy. The "Queen of Personality" went from "The Oprah Winfrey Show," to "Oprah!" to O! magazine. Her reinventions are powerful, yet short and simple. Through it all, her core -- and all that's inside -- has never been compromised.

The key to reinvention is real simple. Keep it short; but powerful! Even Einstein kept it down to: E= mc2, yet he reinvented and rocked the science world. Don't limit yourself to just replanting your life. Learn how to identify which sections need to be up-rooted; which sections need to be cultivated, and which sections need to be left alone.

Now, while you're reading this, Oprah is hard at work cultivating her next "row."

Isn't it time you got busy, too?

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Fran Briggs is a motivational speaker, author, success coach, and founder of The Fran Briggs Companies, an organization which helps individuals and groups take their human potential beyond the max. Fran can be reached at franbriggs@aol.com

The Bud Takes a Risk

By Jo Wanmer

I love the quote, which I read on AsAManThinketh: "And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight inside the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." Anais Nin It caused me to think . A bud when it is closed tight is protected from the wind and rain. Its delicate petals and stamens are enclosed, safe from harm, bundled up tight and secure. But the pressure is building! Some thing is pushing them, one against the other and gossip is that at the top of the bud, the protective case has split and some of the petals are being pushed out!

Actually some of the petals were excited at the prospect of being free, of being able to move as they wished, of greeting the 'Sun' that they had heard so much about. Others were more cautious - fearing unnecessary change!

Now the report had come back from the top petals that the sun was dulled, and they were being battered by the wind. They were trying to get back in the bud - and all that was doing was increasing the split - and other petals were exposed.

One big petal was very quiet in all the ensuing discussion! He knew he was close to the Sun now. He had waited sooo long! He pushed up and out with all his might. He could see the split just above him now! I'll try again, he determined. I must get a glimpse! So he focused and tried again. He pushed and pushed and the pressure was too much for the bud and it split down the side. The petal turned his eyes outward! What wonder! What fresh air! The smells! The perfume! The possibilities! The freedom!

"It is wonderful, just wonderful!" he yelled to the petals behind him. "Come on! Let's show the world how beautiful we are!" He urged.

"But, the risk!" the other petals argued, "Let's stay here - it is more comfortable now the bud is split!"

Just then a little voice was heard outside. "Daddy, come quick. The bud is opening! Look at the beautiful colour!" "Can you smell the perfume?" was the reply. "No, Daddy, no smell!" "You will be able to smell it when all the petals are open. It will be wonderful"

The petals were all quiet for a few moments. Suddenly they understood! To bloom, would eventually cost them everything! But to bloom is what they were created for! To remain a bud and die on the vine was unthinkable! "We must bloom. We must all push together. We must be the best most attractive bloom. Then the bees will come and sup with us, and though we die we will actually live for ever!"

PS A week later a satisfied petal lay under the vine, blown against the fence. His colour was fading, but his perfume was still strong. They had done well. The little girl had admired them everyday - but more importantly they had opened themselves completely to the Sun - and the bees had come. And as he looked up to the vine, even now he could see the swelling, just below the last few petals, that spoke of fruit, with its promise of new life.

Near him on the ground was a bud - it had never opened itself to the Sun. The vine had dropped it to the ground as useless. How sad to have never experienced the Sun - to never have reached fulfillment! How thankful he was that the big petal had the vision and courage to lead them out!!

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Jo Wanmer is a free lance writing, living in Brisbane, Australia, with her husband Steve. Together they have a business that coaches business owners, and together they are associate pastors of a church known as church@burpengary.com Their passion is to see people reach their full potential.

Enhancing Relationships …

TRUST is a very important factor for all relationships. When trust is broken, it is the end of the relationship. Lack of trust leads to suspicion, suspicion generates anger, anger causes enmity and enmity may result in separation.

A telephone operator told me that one day she received a phone call. She answered, "Public Utilities Board." There was silence. She repeated, "PUB." There was still no answer. When she was going to cut off the line, she Heard a lady's voice, "Oh, so this is PUB. Sorry, I got the number from my Husband's pocket but I do not know whose number it is."

Without mutual trust, just imagine what will happen to the couple if the telephone operator answered with just "hello" instead of "PUB".




NO POINTING FINGERS

A man asked his father-in-law, "Many people praised you for a successful marriage. Could you please share with me your secret?"

The father-in-law answered in a smile, "Never criticize your wife for her shortcomings or when she does something wrong. Always bear in mind that because of her shortcomings and weaknesses, she could not find a better husband than you."

We all look forward to being loved and respected. Many people are afraid of losing face. Generally, when a person makes a mistake, he would look around to find a scapegoat to point the finger at. This is the start of a war. We should always remember that when we point one finger at a person, the other four fingers are pointing at ourselves.

If we forgive the others, others will ignore our mistake too.





CREATING PERFECT RELATIONSHIPS?

A person visited the government matchmaker for marriage, SDU, and requested "I am looking for a spouse. Please help me to find a suitable one." The SDU officer said, "Your requirements, please." "Oh, good looking, polite, humorous , sporty, knowledgeable, good in singing and dancing. Willing to accompany me the whole day at home during my leisure hour, if I don't go out. Telling me interesting stories when I need companion for conversation and be silent when I want to rest." The officer listened carefully and replied, "I understand you need television."

There is a saying that a perfect match can only be found between a blind wife and a deaf husband ,because the blind wife cannot see the faults of the husband and the deaf husband cannot hear the nagging of the wife. Many couples are blind and deaf at the courting stage and dream of perpetual perfect relationship. Unfortunately, when the excitement of love wears off, they wake up and discover that marriage is not a bed of roses. The nightmare begins.





NO OVERPOWERING

Many relationships fail because one party tries to overpower another, or demands too much. People in love tend to think that love will conquer all and their spouses will change the bad habits after marriage. Actually, this is not the case. There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that "It is easier to reshape a mountain or a river than a person's character."

It is not easy to change. Thus, having high expectation on changing the spouse character will cause disappointment and unpleasantness.

It would be less painful to change ourselves and lower our expectations..





RIGHT SPEECH !!!

There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that "A speech will either prosper or ruin a nation." Many relationships break off because of wrong speech. When a couple is too close with each other, we always forget mutual respect and courtesy. We may say anything without considering if it would hurt the other party.

A friend and her millionaire husband visited their construction site. A worker who wore a helmet saw her and shouted, "Hi, Emily! Remember me? We used to date in the secondary school." On the way home, her millionaire husband teased her, "Luckily you married me. Otherwise you will be the wife of a construction worker." She answered ,"You should appreciate that you married me. Otherwise, he will be the millionaire and not you."

Frequently exchanging these remarks plants the seed for a bad relationship. It's like a broken egg - cannot be reversed.





PERSONAL PERCEPTION

Different people have different perception. One man's meat could be another man's poison. A couple bought a donkey from the market. On the way home, a boy commented, "Very stupid. Why neither of them ride on the donkey? "Upon hearing that, the husband let the wife ride on the donkey. He walked besides them. Later, an old man saw it and commented, "The husband is the head of family. How can the wife ride on the donkey while the husband is on foot?" Hearing this, the wife quickly got down and let the husband ride on the donkey.

Further on the way home, they met an old Lady. She commented, "How can the man ride on the donkey but let the wife walk. He is no gentleman." The husband thus quickly asked the wife to join him on the donkey. Then, they met a young man. He commented, "Poor donkey, how can you hold up the weight of two persons. They are cruel to you." Hearing that, the husband and wife immediately climbed down from the donkey and carried it on their shoulders.

It seems to be the only choice left. Later, on a narrow bridge, the donkey was frightened and struggled. They lost their balance and fell into the river. You can never have everyone praise you, nor will everyone condemn you. Never in the past, not at present, and never will be in the future.

Thus, do not be too bothered by others words if our conscience is clear..

BE PATIENT .............

This is a true story which happened in the States. A man came out of his home to admire his new truck. To his puzzlement, his three-year-old son was happily hammering dents into the shiny paint of the truck. The man ran to his son, knocked him away, hammered the little boy's hands into pulp as punishment. When the father calmed down, he rushed his son to the hospital.

Although the doctor tried desperately to save the crushed bones, he finally had to amputate the fingers from both the boy's hands. When the boy woke up from the surgery & saw his bandaged stubs, he innocently said, " Daddy,I'm sorry about your truck." Then he asked, "but when are my fingers going to grow back?" The father went home & committed suicide.

Think about this story the next time someone steps on your feet or u wish to take revenge. Think first before u lose your patience with someone u love. Trucks can be repaired.. Broken bones & hurt feelings often can't. Too often we fail to recognize the difference between the person and the performance. We forget that forgiveness is greater than revenge.

People make mistakes. We are allowed to make mistakes. But the actions we take while in a rage will haunt us forever.